Some Rumi before the weekend to help nourish the soul…
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” 
― Rumi
 
	    
	    
	  
	Melissa Kester, LMFT provides therapy for individuals, couples and adult family members. By looking into past and present relationships, we work to develop new patterns and capacities with our clients to allow them more fulfilling relationships.
We are a community of engaged and thoughtful, systemically trained practitioners. Melissa practices indepth psychotherapy that incorporates systemic, relational, contemplative and psychodynamic therapy.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” 
― Rumi
Jon Stewart interviews Aziz Ansari around his new book, Modern Romance.
Read MoreFrustrated with online dating. Learn some basic tips to guide you.
Read MoreThe Mayo-Clinic defines this disorder as "Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation.
Signs of Intermittent Explosive Disorder
People with intermittent explosive disorder may attack others and their possessions, causing bodily injury and property damage. They may also injure themselves during an outburst. Later, people with intermittent explosive disorder may feel remorse, regret or embarrassment."
It is important to start exploring IED with more depths because it seems to be all around us. Either it's the person having a fit from road rage, a short tempered boss or colleague, a friend who is quick to anger or a partner who is showing signs of an increasing temper.
The link below to the Mayo-Clinic website offers in depth information to help clarify the factors, causes,symptoms, and treatment and referral resources for intermittent explosive disorder.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/intermittent-explosive-disorder/basics/definition/con-20024309
Infertility has been a rising concern for our friends, family members, and our communities. Dealing with infertility can be an extremely stressful and painful experience. It has become a frequent issue for many of my clients and I am frequently looking for ways to speak about this issue in ways that will be supportive.
During this journey, I came across an article from Resolve that helps us understand the do's and don'ts when speaking to someone who is experiencing infertility. The article states "Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief."
I can only hope that as we navigate this issue in therapy, in our families and in our community, that we do so with respect and sensitivity to help ease the suffering for the people we so dearly care for.
Below is a link to the full article.
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html
We have been told for years that money doesn't buy happiness, however, an article in mindbodygreen.com would disagree...
Read MoreIn Linda Graham's post about neuroscience and attachment, "The Neuroscience of Attachment," she discusses how our neurons form and how we relate to individuals from infancy into adulthood. Attachment theory has been the working model for many therapists, however, over the last 20 years due to huge technological break through's with brain imaging, we can now have an even deeper understanding of attachments and how we relate one another throughout the course of our lives. Graham writes,"Our earliest relationships actually build the brain structures we use for relating lifelong". What an amazing gift, to be able to understand human relational attachment not only through a psychological lens but a neuro-psychological lens.
Graham also writes, "Relating to one another, one on one, couples, families, or in larger social groups, is the most complex thing human beings do, more complex than writing a symphony or running a government or solving global warming, and the need to relate, to be emotionally and socially intelligent, has driven the evolution of the human brain to be the most complex of anything in all of existence."  The neuropathways involved when relating to someone else are extremely complex and carry out many functions within a fraction of a second. So the next time you have a dialogue with a friend, family member, or partner, remember that there is more to the dialogue than just words.
 
Below is a link to Linda Grahams' article. Enjoy!
http://lindagraham-mft.net/resources/published-articles/the-neuroscience-of-attachment/
It is this vulnerability that causes our children to cling precisely when we need the most space. If we are sick or emotionally unavailable we may find our little ones acting out or holding on.
Read MoreKirby Lee, USA Today Sports
"Sport has the power to change the world," Mandela said. "It has the power to inspire. It has the power to unite people in a way that little else does. It speaks to youth in a language they understand. Sport can create hope where once there was only despair. It is more powerful than government in breaking down racial barriers."
Read MoreAdam Grant, a professor of psychology at Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, recently wrote “Raising a Moral Child,” for the New York Times Sunday Review. This article has been spreading to friends and family through social media and e-mail. It supports what we see so frequently in session; parents care about raising caring and just children. So how does one go about doing just that?
Grant states, “genetic twin studies suggest that anywhere from a quarter to more than half of our propensity to be giving and caring is inherited. That leaves a lot of room for nurture…” This leave parents with 75% of the morality lessons.
To read Grant’s article and learn some techniques for raising a moral child, click here.