Resources
5 Winning Strategies
In Relational Life Therapy, we have five winning strategies. These strategies are relational tools we can use to support connection, curiosity, and relational safety.
5 Losing Strategies
Our 5 losing strategies are maladaptive relational tools we pull out in moments of emotional disequilibrium. These are methods we often saw people around us use or we used to be with our family as children.
Wise Adult/Adapted Child
In Relational Life Therapy, we have our centered self, Wise Adult, who is capable of flexible thinking. This is the person we are when we are not activated. We are capable of person-to-person engagement, rooted in equality and warm regard. We are not threatened by our loved ones’ views.
However, when we are activated, this can go out the window. Our adapted child comes on board, bringing with it the wisdom of protection from our childhood.
This chart is here to help you start to know who might be on board.
Relationship Grid
In Relational Life Therapy, when we are activated, we can go into any of these 4 quadrants. It is divided based on boundaries and grandiosity/shame.
Relational Time Outs
For my couples, when they forget how to manage their time-outs and keep them relational. Here are the principal elements of a Relational Time Out.
Domestic Violence / Trauma
Safe Horizon – 1.800.621.HOPE (4673)
The National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1.800.799.7233
NYC Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence Project – 212.714.1141
Suicide Prevention
Mobile Crisis Team - 1-800-543-3638 (LIFENET)
The Samaritans – 212-673-3000
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1.800.273.TALK (8255) or click on the site for a Crisis Chat